Thank you for liking my dad’s book’s Facebook page if you did. It makes him look real good to publishers and literary agents if lots of people show interest in his work.
If you haven’t liked it on Facebook yet, then I hope you choke on your fire.
Sorry, I mean pacifier. My dad doesn’t like calling it “passy” because he thinks it makes him sound girly. So he’s always like, “Want your fire? Here’s your fire.” Then he goes and calls me “girl on fire.” He says it’s a reference to a book I’m not allowed to read until I’m older.
He also calls swaddling “waddling.” I think that’s what ducks do, right? He’s always saying, “Time to waddle you up like a duck.”
What a weirdy.
But Mom’s great, though! She’s so much better at putting me…
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